Living in LOVE : Remembering Why You Married

Living in LOVE : Remembering Why You Married
By Samantha Olea

The kids are yelling, the dog is barking, and you just found out that your spouse forgot to do the one thing that you needed them to do today...again! This scenario may sound typical for your family, or your scenario could be worse. Maybe you and your spouse are arguing more and more, and connecting less and less? You may have even asked yourself, "Is this marriage a mistake?". Though you knew your life wouldn't be like the Brady Bunch, you may find yourself surprised at just how much work a marriage can be - and its twice as hard if only one person is working at it.

If this is your situation, ask yourself why you married your spouse? I know it sounds silly, but really...why did you marry them? "Because we were in love"- well, that's the easy answer-go deeper. See, life happens...kids are born, cars breakdown, jobs are lost, and through all of the ups and downs that are inevitable, its important that you remember why you married this person.

Reflect:

1. Think of the first time you saw your spouse. What is one thing that stood out to you about them?
2. Remember one time when you were sad, angry or disappointed and your spouse really came through for you. What happened? How did it make you feel?
3. What is one thing funny thing you know about your spouse that no one else knows?
4. Think back to your single life, before you met your spouse. What was it like? Now, really think - what is one small thing your spouse does to make you happy that you are here and not back there?
5. Remember a time when your spouse did something out of the ordinary and surprised you. What did that moment feel like?
6. Remember the first time you saw your spouse holding your child. How did that make you feel?

Remind:

1. In a quiet time when both you and your spouse are sitting together, bring up your first date. Bring up your happiest memories of this day.
2. Think of a funny story about when you first were married - good choices are dinners gone bad, ruined laundry, etc.
3. Talk about when you first became parents. What were your fears and hopes. Mention something positive about their parenting, and their connecting to your children.

Renew

1. If you eat dinner infront of the TV, stop. Gather together at the table with the TV's off, so you can actually connect to your family rather than 'veg out'.
2. Be nice. Okay, sometimes that's easier said than done, but a little sweetness can go a long way. When you get up or go to another room, ask, "Can I get you anything?"
3. Be forgetful. Don't remember every little thing your spouse has done that irritates you. Sometimes we hold on to the past because it feels familiar. Its not fair to hold the past against your spouse, and its not fair for them to do it to you. If they do, lead by example. Once they see you letting go of the past, they will also. As long as they know you are holding on to the past for future fight ammunition, they will do the same.
4. Touch. Place your hand on your spouse's hand; lay your arm across their shoulders. An innocent touch can be just the softness and connection that your spouse is looking for.
5. Overlook. There is nothing gained by pointing out all of your spouse's short comings, and when they have made a mistake don't use it as an opportunity to put them down. Surprise them by 'not noticing' their mistake. No one likes to have their mistakes pointed out to them. We are all adults, and its likely that they are already aware of what they've done.

The point is, take some time to remember why you are in this marriage, take some self control and control your end of the marriage, and take the gloves off. Your spouse is not your enemy, and remember though children are the products of marriage, they are not the glue that holds a marriage together...love is.

Living in love with your spouse can sometimes be challenging, and that's okay- that's why the vows read for better, or for worse. With a little bit of effort on your part, and a partner that really loves you it is absolutely possible to live in love, and that is not only a great gift to yourself and your spouse. Living in love is a wonderful gift to your children.

Samantha Olea is a designer, business woman, wife, and most of all Mother of 2! Samantha founded a free parenting resource at http://TheBestMoms.com hoping to help every mom be the very best mom they can be! Samantha is also the owner of her own web design, graphic design, and hosting firm at : http://getwrappedup.com and AWU Gifts: http://Gifts.GetWrappedUp.com, where she helps Moms start their own business and work from their homes.

sam@thebestmoms.com

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Organized Brides: Why They are Going Online

Organized Brides: Why They are Going Online
By Michael Benson

Brides looking to stay on top of their wedding plans are flocking to the internet in search of helpful wedding resources, planning tips and ideas. And they're not being disappointed. Wedding product and service providers are delivering powerful and informative websites that specifically cater to today's tech-savvy bridal demographic.

The latest trend the online wedding scene has experienced is the surge in popularity of personal wedding websites. Busy couples are recognizing the positive attributes of a personal wedding website, which enable them to:

• Talk about themselves: To better acquaint themselves with guests and family members, brides and grooms often post stories of how they met or got engaged, personal bios, future plans and bridal party introductions.
• Communicate effectively: Couples may tactfully and effectively convey important details such as gift registry information, travel accommodations, maps, directions and schedules of events. As well, they can use their personal wedding website to politely inform their guests of necessary, but potentially sensitive material such as adult only notices and dress code guidelines.
• Collect accurate RSVPs: With a personal wedding website, brides and grooms can always stay informed of the most recent guest responses and RSVP totals, along with meal choices, summaries and all corresponding details. Some wedding website providers offer couples a secure, private administrative center where they may log in to view this information at any time and, if necessary, make changes to their personal wedding website.
• Share fun extras: Brides and Grooms also have the opportunity to share favorite photos, display countdowns and decorate their personal wedding website in custom colors, themes and styles.

Brides and grooms interested in obtaining a personal wedding website of their own have several options available to them.

First, couples can hire a custom web designer for a one of a kind wedding website. This option often allows Brides and Grooms to match their exact wedding styles and colors. However, custom wedding websites may have a high price tag, ranging from a few hundred dollars well into the thousands.

Second, a handful of the larger wedding portal and resource sites allow couples to build a single wedding webpage for free. A free wedding webpage usually serves to inform guests of gift registries and some even allow the inclusion of a photo. Though they do present a no-cost alternative, free sites come at a price in that they are limited in functionality, are usually difficult for wedding guests to locate and have advertising throughout.

The third, and perhaps most popular approach is to use a template-based wedding website provider. Couples are given a choice of features and designs that have been integrated into a user-friendly system. Brides and grooms can then add their own content mainly by completing forms and uploading digital images. This option is reasonably priced and usually costs between $5 and $15 per month. Template-based wedding websites can offer the best of both worlds by providing quality, instant access and affordability.

The rise in popularity of personal wedding websites is likely to continue as more and more brides and grooms are seeing just how hard a personal wedding website can work for their benefit. Personal wedding websites conveniently harness the flexible nature of the internet to provide an affordable and dependable online service, and are a sure way to make every couple's Big Day better.

Michael Benson is President and cofounder of WedQuarters.com, a leading wedding website provider. WedQuarters offers complete personal wedding websites, enhanced with online and toll free wedding RSVP services.

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Let Your Wedding Flowers Speak the Language of Love

Let Your Wedding Flowers Speak the Language of Love
By Claire Bowes

Congratulations! You have found the man of your dreams and are getting married. What a wonderful time in your life - full of promise, hope, and happiness. Can you think of a better way to express these emotions than through flowers? A wedding would just not be the same without wedding flowers.

The Tradition of Wedding Flowers

Carrying flowers by the bride is not something new; it actually has its roots in ancient times. Strong smelling herbs and spices were used to keep away evil spirits during the wedding celebration. Later, during the Roman era, flowers were used to symbolize fertility. Eventually, flowers were given different meanings and used as a way of sending "love notes" in the form of bouquets. Soon, the tradition of the meaning of each flower trickled down and was adopted for the bride's bouquet.

By tradition, the groom wears a flower that appears in the bridal bouquet in his buttonhole. This custom originates from the Medieval tradition of a knight wearing his lady's colors as a declaration of love.

So it seems that a wedding without flowers is like, well, it's like a garden without flowers!

So Many Choices

Have you ever considered how many different kinds of flowers there are? Hundreds of beautiful blooms are available to create the romantic elegance your wedding deserves. You may even feel like author Phoebe Cary, who said, "I know not which I love the most, Nor which the comeliest shows, The timid, bashful violet Or the royal-hearted rose: The pansy in purple dress, The pink with cheek of red, Or the faint, fair heliotrope, who hangs, Like a bashful maid her head." So, how do you choose?

One way is to consider the different meanings of the flowers and create a bouquet that is not only beautiful to the eye, but also meaningful to the heart. Another way is to consider the time of year. Many flowers are more common during one season than another, so finding off-season flowers may be difficult!

Based on tradition, here are some of the more popular wedding bouquet flowers and what they mean, along with when they are in season:

• Red Rose - Love, All Year
• White Rose - Unity, All Year
• Yellow Rose - Joy, All Year
• Orange Rose - Passion, All Year
• Pink Rose - Secret Love, or Grace & Sweetness, All Year
• Alstroemeria - Devotion, All Year
• Baby's Breath - Innocence, All Year
• Calla Lily - Magnificent Beauty, March through September
• Carnation - Devoted Love, All Year
• Daisy - Innocence & Romance, All Year
• Ivy - Fidelity, Marriage, All Year
• Lily Of The Valley - Happiness, March through September
• Myrtle - Joy , All Year
• Orchid - Love & Beauty, All Year
• Stephanotis - Marital Happiness, All Year
• Tulips - Love & Passion, January through April
• Zinnia - Affection, All Year

The best way to get the right flowers is to choose the right florist and one of the best ways to find a good florist is by word of mouth. If the florist's service and work comes highly recommended, chances are they will do a good job for you. Select a florist that listens to you and really grasps the look and feel you want. Be open to the florist's ideas and suggestions. In the long run, it will be the value of their experience, talent, and expertise that you have purchased.

Don't Forget the Flowers for the....

In addition to flowers for the wedding party and family members, you will need flowers for the church, arrangements for the reception tables, head table, and guest book table. You may even want flowers for the cake and a small bouquet for the ladies' room. To make sure you don't forget any of your floral needs, here is a list of possibilities:

• Flowers for the Bridal Party
• Bride's Bouquet
• Maid/Matron of Honor
• Mother of the Bride
• Mother of the Groom
• Bridesmaids
• Flower Girl
• Grandmothers
• Groom
• Best Man
• Father of the Bride
• Father of the Groom
• Ushers
• Ring Bearer
• Grandfathers

Flowers for the Wedding Ceremony

• Altar Arrangements
• Aisle Markers
• Candelabras
• Aisle Runner
• Canopy or Archway
• Kneeling Bench

Flowers for the Reception

• Bridal Table
• Cake Table
• Guest Table
• Buffet Table
• Bandstand
• Gift Table
• Guest Book Table
• Bouquet to Throw

Fresh flowers underline the importance and elegance of your wedding day. They enhance any setting and can literally transform an average looking room into a beautiful scene. If you've planned well, your flowers will be exactly what you want, and you'll be free to focus on what your day is all about.

Claire Bowes runs her own website Wedding Favors Ideas [http://www.ourfavorideas.com] If you're planning a wedding, then get some ideas for Cheap Wedding Favors [http://www.ourfavorideas.com/cheap-wedding-favors.html]

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June Weddings

June Weddings
By Gary E. Anderson

From the book Spider's Big Catch

As June wraps its arms around us like the warm hug of a favorite aunt, I begin to think about weddings. I've been a musician for thirty years, and I've played at scores of weddings and receptions, sometimes more than once for the same person. It was a way to make a living--the money was good and there was usually decent food.

As a wedding soloist, I'd sit off to the side, watching brides in white dresses and grooms in rented tuxedos promise to love each other forever. But somehow, I couldn't shake a sadness that always hung over me as I watched, knowing that one in every two marriages will fail.

I can't explain it, but over the years, I developed an eye for knowing whether a couple was going to make it or not. There was just something about the way the bride and groom related to each other--the look in their eyes and their body language--that offered clues as to how their marriage was going to turn out.

Then one afternoon, while our band was playing for a large reception in a small town ballroom, I casually looked across the vast sea of people. My glance moved from table to table, until I saw the bride and groom, sitting alone in a corner. They were sitting in total ease, holding hands, saying nothing.

Her flowing white dress and his tuxedo seemed out of place, but their happiness and comfort with each other was totally apparent. There was no question that those two people belonged together. They would've been sitting there in those same two chairs, still holding hands in exactly the same way, if they'd been wearing blue jeans and overalls at someone else's reception.

They were at a party, to be sure--a big, loud party. But the party was really for the benefit of everyone else in attendance. They were totally comfortable just sitting in their corner, out of the limelight, watching the people they loved having a good time.

As cynical as I'd become over the years, something struck me at that moment as I watched that couple. I realized that weddings actually represent the triumph of the human spirit. Every marriage is a public statement by two people, letting the whole world know that together, they choose to believe that their union will be the one-in-two that lasts.

When thought of in that way, every wedding really symbolizes a victory of hope--in the face of all odds. Sure, it'll take all their courage and strength to succeed, but no matter what, couples continue to try.

They know the statistics are against them--but they look straight into the eyes of the odds makers and say, "So what?"

And why not? Throughout history, people have staked their fortunes, and sometimes their very lives, on less than a 50-50 chance.

Maybe that's why we hold so many weddings in the month of June. It's a month that can be unpredictable--full of warmth and promise one minute, and then suddenly becoming stormy and filled with uncertainty.

As for me, since seeing that couple, holding hands at their reception, I've begun singing my wedding solos with a renewed hope--embodied by two people at the altar, vowing to face their future together, in spite of overwhelming odds.

© 2004. Gary E. Anderson. All rights reserved.

Gary Anderson is a freelance writer, editor, ghostwriter, and manuscript analyst, living on a small Iowa farm. He�s published more than 500 articles and four books. He�s also ghosted a dozen books, edited more than 30 full-length manuscripts, produced seven newsletters, and has done more than 800 manuscript reviews for various publishers around the nation. If you need writing or editing help, visit Gary�s website at www.abciowa.com. abciowa@alpinecom.net

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A Wedding Shower Checklist

A Wedding Shower Checklist
By Claire Bowes

Bridal showers are one of many pre-wedding parties and are great fun. They are known as parties with a purpose. The purpose of a shower is to assist the couple in equipping their new home or for the bride to assemble a trousseau. Not only that, but they are a good excuse for the bride to get together with her friends and family to play hilarious games and to enjoy the food and wine.

Did you know that a trend has started for 'couples showers'? This is sometimes termed as the 'Jack' and 'Jill' shower where you shower both the bride and groom with gifts and good wishes. Either way, if you are having a traditional shower party for just the bride, or decide to have a couples shower, then the planning and the checklist will invariably be the same.

Here is an outline of a wedding shower checklist to get you on your way to organising a great shower party.

Who should host the shower?

Traditionally the maid of honour tends to plan the shower party. But today, anything goes and it is perfectly acceptable for both family and friends to work together to organize, host and share the cost of the wedding shower. It doesn't really matter who actually hosts the party as long as it is planned well in advance and normally in consultation with the bride. If the shower is planned to be in someone's home, then it's always a good idea to choose the person with the largest home or garden.

When to have your party

Because of the busy schedule the bride and her family will have in the lead up to her wedding, it is best to hold the shower about four to six weeks before the wedding. A growing trend is that more wedding showers are no longer a surprise and statistics show that 4 out of 5 brides are employed, therefore it is necessary to include the bride in the planning when it comes to setting a date and time. A traditional 'girl-only' party could be a Sunday brunch, a midweek lunch or an afternoon tea garden party.

Couples showers are best held on a weekend day or evening. The majority of people tend to work between 9-5 Monday-Friday, therefore a weekend is a safe bet in that most of the couples' friends and relatives can attend. If you are having a shower party with work colleagues, then the ideal time would be in your lunch hour or straight after work.

Who to invite

Apart from your family members, the host should invite people you know well whether it be friends, relatives or work colleagues. You don't want to invite too many people, as a large group tends to split off in small separate groups. You want everyone to interact with each other and be a manageable size for everybody to play the hilarious shower games and not feel left out. Taking all this into consideration, a comfortable shower should involve about 10-20 people.

You don't necessarily need to buy expensive shower invitations. Another growing trend is that many brides are doing their wedding research on the Internet. The internet has opened up many 'cheaper' avenues and you can now get some great printable-wedding-shower-invitations. These invitations are customized with your own wording and design, and are printed directly from your own printer.

What's your Theme?

As with the actual wedding, it is wise to choose a theme before sending out the invitations. The theme can then be used throughout the shower and incorporated in with the invitations, decorations, favors and refreshments.

There are literally dozens of topics for a shower party theme. The most popular is the 'kitchen' theme as there are endless pieces of equipment and accessories you can buy for the kitchen. The host knows the bride well and will surely fit a theme around either what the bride and groom need, or their lifestyle. For example if the happy couple are both into health and fitness, then a fitness theme could be an option.

One good idea for a couples shower is a wine tasting theme. This is ideal for a Saturday night party and I am sure the men will enjoy this one and easily get into the swing of things!

Food, Favors and Games

Food: It depends on the theme and location for which type of food to prepare. For example, if you are holding a 'wine tasting theme', then a finger buffet with crackers, nuts and other nibbles goes down well with wine. If you are holding a garden shower party, consider light finger food - cheeses, crackers, fresh fruit, mini-quiches, blueberry cream puffs, crab dip and a bacon, egg and cheese casserole and salads.

Favors: Some people choose not to give shower favors. It really depends on where you live and if it is a tradition in your area or not. If you do, you don't have to go overboard with favors if you want to keep the expense down. Give something small and useful like a scented candle. Most people like scented candles and they are practical. A potpourri satchel is another welcome and practical idea.

Games: Everyone should be included in the shower games. Shower party games are a great ice-breaker for people to get to know each other. Games can include bridal shower bingo as this is always a big hit as is 'what's in the bag (memory game). Trivia questions about the bride and groom or making a wedding dress with toilet paper are all fun games to be had.

Thank You Cards: Normally a simple 'thank-you' was enough, but today, with showers being larger and guests busier, a personal note is the only way to make sure that sincere appreciation is expressed.

Summary

Bridal showers are meant to be fun. They do need a lot of planning and organization in advance, but they are worth it. The bride and groom receive practical gifts for their home, and shower party's are a great excuse to get together with friends and family to have one whale of a time!

Claire Bowes runs her own website Wedding Favors Ideas [http://www.ourfavorideas.com] If you're planning a wedding, then get some ideas for Cheap Wedding Favors [http://www.ourfavorideas.com/cheap-wedding-favors.html]

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How to Plan a Cheap Wedding

How to Plan a Cheap Wedding
By Claire Bowes

There's no doubt about it, weddings can be expensive. The average cost of a wedding today is $20,000 - $25,000, and weddings are estimated to be a $25.3 billion industry. But don't worry if your budget cannot stretch for the most expensive custom-made gown, elegant invitation cards, or the top photographer, it doesn't mean that your wedding will be any less unique or special than anyone else's.

You just need a bit of guidance and a few tips to help you achieve the dream of your big day. Here are a few suggestions with tips on how to save on some of the more expensive aspects of a wedding.

Wedding Gowns

Do you really need a hand-made wedding dress with beads and diamantes? This is where the big cost is and there are several options in cutting the cost. Why not opt for a second-hand wedding dress? It's probably only been worn once anyway and you can get a once expensive dress for half the price. Consider buying an evening gown/cocktail dress from a department store or look into renting your wedding dress for the day.

The Reception

This is where the cost of a wedding can get out of hand. The wedding reception is normally the biggest expense, but one of the easiest to cut down on costs. Statistics show that an average of 189 guests attend a wedding, this is a lot. Try and keep your guest list to a minimum, do you really need to invite family members who you have never seen for years? Instead of a three-course meal why not opt for a hot and cold buffet (even cater for yourself)? Instead of holding the reception in an expensive hotel suite or wedding reception, why not consider having it at someone's home or a club, or even book a restaurant. Keep an open bar to a minimal and only serve beer, wine and soft drinks.

Photography

The obvious choice is to shop around for the best rates, but consider hiring a photographer for the ceremony only and ask a family member or friend to take snap photos of the reception. Or you could go one step further and ask them to take the photographs for the whole day and not bother with the expense of a photographer at all.

Invitations / Stationery

If you're on a budget and looking for cheaper wedding stationery items, then you might like to consider print-at-home stationery. There are many online stationer's that will offer this service free of charge. You pay for the paper and envelopes, then use their software to print directly from your own PC. With sophisticated customization tools you'll be able to enter your own text and preview it before you print so as not to make any costly mistakes. Alternatively, you can buy software and do-it-yourself from your PC.

Miscellaneous

Flowers can be another great expense, but also an unnecessary one. Why not buy wholesale flowers, or pick flowers from your garden (or a friends or relatives). Buy plain gold or white gold wedding bands as these are the cheapest. Get a friend to make your wedding cake for you and opt for a smaller tier cake and it doesn't have to be a fruit cake - try a sponge, chocolate or carrot cake! Make your favors and center-peices yourself. Accessories for these can be found at little outlet stores or online. Lastly, instead of a limousine why not rent a car or borrow a luxury car from a friend or relative?

Summary

Weddings are expensive if you want them to be. But if you want to keep money aside for a deposit on a house or a honeymoon to remember, then there are many cost cutting ideas. All you need is a little imagination, and some help from friends and family and you too can have a luxury wedding with all the trimmings.

Claire Bowes is a freelance writer and owner of the Wedding Planning Online [http://www.weddings.start-home-based-business-ideas.com/] website where you will find further tips and tricks on planning your wedding day.

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